You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you. -Psalm 86:5
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. -Jeremiah 17:7
Search my heart and search my soul. There's nothing else that I want more. Shine Your light and show Your face. In my life, Lord have Your way. With all my heart and all my soul, with all I am, Lord I will follow You. -Hillsong United
This blog is to work on my vulnerability and bringing things into the open as I process. As I read Jeremiah 17:7 in preparing for Bible study, my heart was so convicted. The Lord has been revealing to me areas that I STILL struggle with fully trusting in the Lord. If I were to truly allow the Lord to see through my front of having things together, I would quickly see how much growing and learning I still have yet to go through. I definitely do not think this is bad and in fact, I think it is exactly where I need to be. As I process...constantly...the desires the Lord has placed in my heart and also what the future holds for after graduation, I am realizing how much I do not truly trust the Lord to fulfill the desires He has placed for a purpose and I have some doubts that the Lord will reveal exactly where I am supposed to be headed. Lord, please give me more and more faith. I experienced some weird spiritual warfare this past weekend. I was meeting a new friend who is an incredible encouragement. I was excited to meet this amazing brother in Christ the Lord has used to send so much encouragement. All of a sudden Friday as I drive to the cities, the enemy was attacking me so heavily. It was so weird. I kept being fed the lie that the time was going to be worthless and that it was stupid. I knew this was not from the Lord and I just felt so confused why the enemy was so threatened. When any strong believers come together, the enemy is always threatened by the power of the Lord that pours out of them. However, I had never experienced this type of warfare before. The Lord kept reminding me how glorified He is when brothers and sisters come together to praise His name and enjoy the community the Lord blesses us with. The specific battle ended after a few hours but I am still aware of the lies that the enemy is still trying to place into my head about God's faithfulness. Lord, I desire Your Truth. I desire Your love about all else. I desire Your leading alone. God, I pray and trust that You alone will fill my heart with more and more faith that You are in complete control. Break me of my years of learned control. I want to be dependent on You alone and not myself. Lord, I see Your beauty in my life and in my heart. But, I still see my ugliness. God, You promise in Psalm 86 that You are forgiving and good. You promise that you are abounding in love to all who call to You. Lord, I am calling to You. I admit that I am imperfect when separated from Your perfection. God, You are a God of miraculous healing. You are a God of all power in the universe. You are the God who brought me to life and out of death. You are the God who has used my sinful flesh to bring the Gospel to the world. You are so incredibly worthy of my praise. You are nothing but deserving of my love and attention. Lord, take this life and use it for Your glory and plan alone. Take away my fears, my doubts, my UNBELIEF. Father, You are creator, You are Sovereign, and You are Jehovah-Jireh. You are completely faithful and trustworthy. Take the sin from my heart, bring me to my knees, and allow my soul to worship You alone.
These words are the cry of my heart. I desire nothing but to follow the Lord's perfect plan for my life. The Lord is still allowing me to process and discern where He is leading me.
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him! -Psalm 62:5
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