Agape

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind of steadfast, because he trusts in you.

-Isaiah 26:3

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

-Isaiah 54:10

I am currently a super senior in college. I realized the other day that the past few years have gone by SO fast. I woke up one morning questioning, "when did I become 22 years old in my 5th year of college?!" As I enter into basically my last year, it is now more than ever that I am truly figuring out where life is headed as far as after graduation and a career. I don't feel like my WHOLE life is being shaken, but the Lord is definitely creating a beautiful mess with any plans I had before recently. The path I thought God was leading me on for the future has definitely been a little shaken but God's peace through it all has not been. I can honestly say that I fully trust in God's mystery and am completely okay with not knowing exactly where He is leading me yet. The Lord knows the desires of my heart of wanting to do ministry in some sort of aspect and as I learn more about myself and what breaks my heart, He continues to lead me through hoops and doors. At this point, I honestly have no idea what ministry I end up in. I could see myself joining CRU staff possibly and I could see myself going overseas for at least short-term. I could see myself doing some sort of youth ministry in the church for younger women, and I could see myself doing some sort of women's ministry in the church as I learn more about myself as a woman of God. I could even do a mixture of these. I guess a factor that plays into any of this is the fact that God created me to be a woman. I wouldn't be an actual pastor in the youth ministry area and I wouldn't be a pastor of any kind for a women's ministry in the church. I have desire to be apart of these ministries but I am not sure what that would look like as a single woman as of right now. I continue to trust in the Lord's compassion and chaos as He gives me peace with these shaken plans. 

In Isaiah 54:10, the word compassion comes from the Hebrew word racham and it means "to sooth; to cherish; to love deeply like parents; to be compassionate, be tender. This usually refers to a strong love rooted in some sort of natural bond like a superior one to an inferior." All of our lives God retains strong feelings of compassion for us. He continually wants us to run back to him and have us come home. Psalm 136 continually states, "give thanks to the Lord for he is good" and "His love endures forever." God is Creator, Conqueror and Compassionate One. God changes works in our lives and He changes our paths unexpectedly but His love always stays steady and strong. Sometimes we will experience healing from pain, sometimes we won't. Sometimes the Lord will provide miracle, sometimes He won't. Sometimes the Lord will give us direct answers, most of the time He won't. The reason why sometimes He doesn't do what we ask of Him is because He uses all things for His good. His love endures forever through it all. He uses the things He doesn't do to teach us things that we couldn't have learned otherwise and it is all for our best. 

Proverbs 19:22 says, "what a man desires is unfailing love." We all long for love that will never fail us that is radical, focused, and trustworthy. Out of all my experiences that I thought were "love," none compare. God's love cannot be comparable. The apostle Paul gives us the truth about the most powerful love there is: "I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." This love is agape love. A love that is supernatural and one that only God fully possess. Only God can give this love. The only way we can love with agape love is to empty our hearts of everything and ask God to fill it with His love. 

As I continue seeking God's Word for where He is leading me, I experience more and more of God's unfailing love through the peace He has given me as I walk blindly by faith. God's love will never let me go.