So this post may be long BUT if you are in the same boat as me and are currently processing what the Lord may have planned for you, I strongly encourage you to read on and process some of these same questions. This past weekend I had an incredibly opportunity to attend a conference all about planning for the future...my "life options." This post is basically the start of what I will be processing for the next 35 years. That was obviously an exaggeration, I sure hope it won't take 35 years, but I do know that this process is going to be just that.....a process. I am so so so thankful that the Lord has given me the ability to have options to process and am more than excited to see God's glory revealed in my life. So here we go!
Any human has a primary calling to the salvation God gives freely and to the opportunity to be completely washed away and sanctified. As we see brokenness and evil in the world, we can easily see that not everyone decides to follow that calling. Some purposely rebel, some just don't care, but some haven't even heard how to live out this calling. As Christians who have decided to follow our primary calling as broken people, we are called to service. We are called to bring the hope that we have to those directly around us, those that cross our paths, and those who we will have to leave comfort zones to find. God has personally privileged us with the opportunity to have already found the one hope for our lives and He personally calls us to bring it to those who do not know and especially to those who have not even had an opportunity to hear. Can you imagine walking through life in a different country and not knowing Jesus because you have not even heard of His name? What makes us think that we have the right to not help in giving them the opportunity to hear of Jesus? I do believe that not everyone was created to pack up, jump on a plane, and go live in these places for the rest of their lives but I do believe that everyone can have even small amount of impact of bringing the gospel to these places. First question for myself: What am I going to do with hope and truth that I have been entrusted with? Well, I am going to live out the joy and love that God has placed in my heart and I am going to stand up for what Christ can do for broken souls. I have been blessed so many times in being able to share the good news with people who did not have understanding but through explanation, came to faith in Christ. Seeing in front of you a lost, broken soul turn from fleshly strength and pain to redeeming love and mercy is one of the best gifts God has given me. However, as far as how I am going to specifically continue to live this out in the future and how I am going to bring the gospel to broken people? That is obviously the big question I am trying to figure out. God has created me to be a daughter of His with certain gifts, abilities, skills, experiences, failures, weaknesses, and passions so that I can uniquely serve Him in this world and in the church. I have been created for God to use me for His glory and I want nothing more than to glorify Him the best that I can by using the things He has given me in the best area of ministry that I can.
Romans 12:1 says: I appeal to you therefor, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
I desire my life to be a continued sacrifice for the One who gave everything for me. How does my life fit into God's Will? God's Will is for everyone to have a chance to hear of the greatest Love that has ever come and the name of His Son who is the only One to save. How does the life that God has given me fit in with that? What does presenting my body and life as a sacrifice really look like? What are the things that I need to "give up?" What are the fears that go against God's character that I need to have greater faith in?
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
What are the areas in my life that I am not content in or would not be content in? Well, I am not content in being a freak to my family members now and I know that giving up "real world" jobs and doing full time ministry would create even more disappointment in my family members. Although my parents do not understand, they have been pretty supportive in my short term trips but I would struggle with being content in my dad's lack of encouraging words. I actually realized last night that one of my biggest fears in making decisions in life is not making my dad proud. Growing up, I didn't necessarily doubt that my dad was proud of me but he never verbalized it and did not physically support the activities that meant the most to me. My dad came to very few of my dance recitals over the 14 years of multiple recitals and he came to maybe 1 dance team competition when I was in junior high and high school. I obviously didn't feel completely supported. With my dad's lack of words that affirm chasing after the right dreams and passions, I definitely fear never hearing the words of "I'm proud of you" from my dad again. This is most likely an irrational fear but it is real and I need to recognize it and bring it to the Lord. Fears like this one are the things that make me incredibly weak in following God's true plan but it forces me to my knees and I have no choice but to have greater faith in Him. I can't change my dad's heart or the rest of my family's hearts and it forces me to rely on God's strength and control.
Matthew 9:37 says: Then Jesus said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest."
There are SO many people waiting eagerly to hear of what the Lord has planned for their life but there are not enough people willing to be a laborer for the gospel. I already know that I want to give my life to ministry for the sake of these people. A heart breaking fact about Africa is that the number of people who have not even had ONE chance to hear about who Jesus is and the relationship that can be given is the same number of people who live in the entire United States. Over 300 million people just in Africa who have had not one chance yet to be given true hope. Not everyone is called to go to Africa long term but I have experienced African people who are so hungry for the knowledge of God. There are harvests all over the place. Who is willing to be a laborer in the harvests?
Revelation 1:3, 7 says: Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written in it, for the TIME IS NEAR. Behold, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him, and all tribes of the earth will wail on account of him.
1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 says: For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.
Jesus IS coming back. God already tells us that and that time is drawing near. Our lives are just a dot on an eternal timeline. Jesus is going to come back with his armies soon. What do I want to be doing when Jesus comes back? What purpose do I want my life to have knowing that Jesus could come back in our generation's time period? Since 5th grade I have wanted to be a teacher. I am still pursuing an education degree. As I got further in the education program I thought about being a positive influence on my students' and if I could also coach, my athletes. I got excited about the opportunities to pour God's love onto broken teenagers knowing that they may not experience love and support in their homes and families. I do believe in workplace ministry and I know some great friends who are awesome at being able to relate to coworkers in ways that doors open all the time to share the gospel in outside settings. However, I need to look at the reality of sitting in a junior high or high school classroom that is focused on academics. I need to look at the reality of having different students every hour of the day who are there to learn academics. The reality of time in the workplace needs to be given serious thought. I want to use every opportunity to share the gospel but will I really be able to beyond just being loving and encouraging towards my students? I honestly would rather be using more time to bring the gospel to people around the world whether through me or through those I have the opportunity to minister to but if I am working a full time job in a classroom, I won't be able to use as much time compared to a full time job in ministry. Academics, health, and materials will fade and be demolished but the gospel will remain forever.
James 1:5 says: If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Am I hesitating to go to God? Am I allowing God to give generously to my life by surrendering it all back to Him? I would like to think so. However, I am scared about the possibility of being a disappointment to my family. I am scared that the Lord won't provide if I end up in ministry where I would have to raise all my support. I hesitate to let go of my desires because what if God doesn't come through for me? What if I put control in His hands and miss out on opportunities because I cannot control the outcome? I know these are silly questions and the Lord will provide blessings for the desires that align with His Word and His will but I still confess fear and anxiety over family, finances, and the desire of a very future family. The way we can receive wisdom is through God alone through prayer and the Word of truth. We cannot expect to have a perspective of the will of God if we are not in the Word of God. When I do search the scriptures and pray to hear God's voice, the Lord does promise peace will eventually come. Most of the time this peace will not come until after taking a leap of faith but we still are able to feel peace and experience the emotion. However, we need to also discern if this peace is God's voice aligning with scripture or peace coming from our own inner desires?
Proverbs 12:15 says: The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.
Although we need to first listen to the Word of God, we can seek advice from those who know our hearts most. God has blessed us with brothers and sisters that have taken the time to get to know us. Some may have more insight into our strengths and weaknesses than we can see ourselves. Others can see what passions excite us most and create spark in our eyes. Advice from those around us who we trust to know us well can be a great help in deciding where the future may be headed. Others have told me gifts and abilities they have seen in me that I did not recognize for myself and they have helped me grow incredibly because of it.
2 Timothy 1:7 says: For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
1 Corinthians 2:14-16 says: The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment: "For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ.
When we choose to follow Christ, we are blessed with His Spirit inside of us that is a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. We also are blessed with the mind of Christ. A mind that is trustworthy and sound. We are blessed with the mind that is able to discern life when we allow the mind of Christ to work for us. When we are comparing our thoughts to the Word we can trust to use our minds. So here are some specific questions that I am considering as I continue to process where the Lord is leading me in the future!
What are my spiritual and natural gifts? According to a couple spiritual gifts tests/inventories my top 5 spiritual gifts are: Encouragement, Hospitality/Service, Evangelism, Faith, and Leadership. According to the Strengths Finder test that I have taken my top 5 strengths are Developer, Strategic, Empathy, Discipline, and Positivity. Some natural gifts include music, writing, dancing, communicating to others, having compassion towards others, baking, cooking, teaching others concepts in a way they understand, applying life skills, etc. (More to think through.)
What are my strengths and weaknesses? I encourage people often, I help others in times of need even when I am busy, I have a heart for other peoples' growth, I love to help people, I communicate well in times of conflict, I enjoy solving problems, I can see the big picture in things and all the small details at the same time....more strengths could be listed. My weaknesses mostly start with insecurity. I am insecure that I am good enough and liked enough to let others see past some walls. I am intimidated by others who are strong in the Lord and are heavily blessed because I don't feel as though I measure up. I keep to myself sometimes and am not super outgoing when meeting new people. I sometimes struggle with change in life. I am a sucker for comfort.
What has my academic and spiritual training prepared me for? Having an education major has taught me how to relate to youth and how to inspire them to live life beyond their potential. My academic major has given me an incredible amount of experience working with youth and being able to pour into them even if it is through teaching them academically. Jobs that I have gone after and volunteering opportunities I have signed up for were always to put on my teaching resume but I look back now and see how much experience they have given me for relating to youth and young adults. My spiritual training has been incredible. My campus ministry has equipped me on how to share my own personal testimony, how to relay the gospel in ways that can be understood, how to grow in my own walk with Christ, and how to mentor others. My ministry within the youth group at my church has equipped me with training of how to apply the knowledge God has given me in the youth setting and how to teach the knowledge to youth. I can definitely see working in a ministry for youth and/or young adults.
Questions where answers will be posted in another post but also important to look at:
How has the Lord used me in the past? Past effectiveness?
How might my personality type figure into my work?
What am I burdened over most? What people group's brokenness breaks me heart?
How do I see the pain and brokenness of the world?
Where is God at work in some special way at this time? A unique opening for the Gospel?
What opportunities could I be a part of where my gifts could be used most?
What do I already have a vision for?
In what way do I long to see God glorified more?
What do I enjoy and find motivating?
When serving others, what gives me the greatest joy?
What am I passionate about?
What do I want to do more than anything else in the world?
Obviously there is a lot to this post and you probably feel like I threw up on you because that is how I felt when I was given most of this information this past weekend. God has given us experiences, passions, hardship, gifts, and burdens for a reason. God has given us emotional experiences over certain things to possibly help us in discerning what breaks our hearts the most for furthering His kingdom. We are only placed on this earth for a flash of time along side of broken people who have no hope after this life. I encourage you to listen to God's voice, the advice of those who know your heart, and your own hearts' desires that are aligned with God's heart. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. -Matthew 6:33
May God continue to bless you as you seek after Him and His purpose.
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