-Psalm 51:6
Being completely honest with myself, there are times when I am not completely satisfied with Jesus. I know in my head that Jesus is the only way to be completely satisfied and I even believe it in my heart most days. But, what about those other days? Those days are usually filled with self-sufficiency and lack of full trust in God. Why? The Lord is still revealing to me left and right how many walls I have built up before coming into a personal relationship with Him just 6 1/2 years ago. The Lord is breaking down these walls using a slow, painful process but I am truly finding more and more satisfaction in Him alone. Just earlier today some family issues came up. I needed to get away and breathe so I went for a drive. The only thing I kept saying to myself in the car was, "Lord, You are the ONLY thing worth anything in this life. You are the ONLY one that truly brings peace into my life and the ONLY one I want to purse with everything I have. I don't need anything but You." The Lord has brought me so incredibly far as He has pursued me through even the roughest times. I feel His presence like I never have before. I trust Him like I never have before. I have experienced more SATISFACTION in Him than anywhere else and it has given me zeal for continually wanting to share what He has done in my life. I am so thankful for this. However, I still desire to be even more deeply satisfied and I love that the Lord desires that same for me. As Psalm 51:6 says above, the Lord delights and desires truth in the inward most parts of me-deep in my soul.
One of the ways the Bible uses the word Soul is the nonmaterial part of us. Is my soul, my spirit, my inmost place--the real me--entirely satisfied with Christ?
Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;
and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
-Isaiah 55:1,2
How am I completely satisfied? Through Jesus Christ alone. When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are indwelt with the Holy Spirit. We must accept that Christ died on the cross for our sins and through his death, the punishment of our sins is taken by Christ. In exchange, we are allowing Christ to become the Lord of our life and the one who is going to lead our life--every aspect of it. However, gaining this Salvation through Christ does not solely give us full satisfaction. "Salvation secures our lives for eternity. Soul satisfaction ensures abundant life on earth." -Beth Moore. In order to really know what will fully satisfy, I need to learn to discern what will meet my needs. God created me to thirst for Him for full satisfaction and it is a journey to truly learn what seeking Him fully looks like. As I seek God more and more with my life, my soul thirsts even more for Him. In Psalm 63, David was so acquainted with God's love that he considered it better than life. "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you." -Psalm 63:3 As I am experiencing God is powerful ways and as I am falling more and more in love with Him, I am seeing that those days in the past of not being full satisfied in Him--not even close, really--were because of the lack of truth and love in my life. I was not relying on the time I spent with God to fill me. As the Lord has taken my heart and is leaving my breathless, I yearn to be filled with His Spirit moment by moment of each day. I used to rely on drinking, control on eating habits and weight loss plans, sexual impurities, and how much friends wanted to hang out with me to satisfy me. I am continually experiencing freedom from the weight of this world. I am actually experiencing the opposite of what I used to. The Lord is opening my eyes to how much I am NOT satisfied in material things and how close friends still will let me down because we all are imperfect. I am able to forgive more freely as the Lord is breaking my heart more and more for the sin in my own life independent of others. Nothing in this world can fully satisfy and our head can know that for years and year. But, until our hearts truly believe it, we will not fully experience the love and satisfaction of the One who paid it all. We will not be fully satisfied until our hearts break for the brokenness of this world and we are so reliant on the Lord that we see how we can do nothing apart from Him. We will not be fully satisfied until we are completely in love with our Savior.
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