Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. - Hebrews 12:3
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. - Psalm 37:7
Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord. - Psalm 27:14
I wait for you, O Lord; You will answer, O Lord my God. - Psalm 38:15
Waiting. I would consider the life stage that I am in as waiting. At least waiting for God's plan to unravel of where He wants me going and what He is leading me to after student teaching this fall. Yesterday I spent two hours breaking down just a couple simple verses and I just want to share my thoughts and give an update on the end of what God is teaching me as I am here in West Virginia this summer!
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. -Philippians 4:4-6
I have read these verses many times but many things really hit me yesterday as I looked up many dictionary definitions to almost every word:
Rejoice - to feel joyful; be delighted; be in great pleasure.
Always - for all time; forever; at anytime; invariably.
Gentleness - considerate, tender, kind, noble, friendly.
Evident - obvious; easily seen and understood.
Near - with/in close relationship.
Anxious - uneasy, eager, worried, "earnestly desirous"
Petition - something requested; an entreaty(plea)
Supplication - to ask for humbly.
Prayer - "a reverent petition"
Reverence - showing respect, profound awe, love
Thanksgiving - expression of gratitude
Gratitude - state of being appreciative of benefits received
Present - to offer for observations, examination, or consideration; show or display
Offer - to present as an act of worship; to put forward for consideration; propose
Propose - to make known as one's intention
Requests - something asked for
After looking up all these definitions, I decided to rewrite the verse:
Be joyful and delighted with great pleasure in the Lord for all time, at anytime, invariably. I will say it again, repeatedly, be joyful and delighted with great pleasure! Let your considerate tenderness, noble and friendly kindness be obvious and easily seen and understood to all - every creature! The Lord is in close relationship with you! Do not be uneasy, worried, eager, or earnestly desirous about anything, but in everything by showing respect, profound awe, and love to God through prayer and humbly requesting and pleaing, also with expression of gratitude and appreciation by recognizing value and significance of God, offer for consideration and make known your intentions of your requests to God! - Philippians 4:4-6 (rewritten)
I realize there are a LOT of run-on sentences but as I was digging deeper and deeper into what God was trying to teach me just through this process and reading just two verses, I realized how great my waiting period is right now and I need to examine my heart. Do I truly delight with great pleasure in the Lord at all times no matter what my circumstances are? Am I joyful on God's strength at all times? Did I just get told again to be delighted and joyful??? Yep, definitely just did. Then I asked myself, when I am delighting in the Lord and bringing requests before Him, do I continually live with consideration for others showing them tender, noble, and friendly kindness no matter what? If God is speaking to my heart in wanting His love to be so clearly presented to others through being considerate and tender myself, how am I really doing in that? The Lord loves me so much and privileges me with being in relationship with Him, why am I worrying? Why am I so eager to know God's plan for my life and so uneasy about trusting in His perfect plan? When I am praying and asking God for the desires of my heart, am I humbling myself and expressing thanks and appreciation even if God's answer may be 'no?' Hmm.... profound awe? Do I really realize that I get to bring requests of my heart before a big and mighty God?
I can honestly say that God has had me in awe, especially the past two weeks. I am so blessed beyond what I could have imagined God blessing me with this summer between amazing students, amazing adults, amazing volunteer partnerships, and just amazing beauty of the community of Beckley, West Virginia. I took this summer ministry job as part of my waiting stage, to use the time I have in between school years to continue sharing what God is doing in my life and using me to glorify His kingdom. I still don't know what exactly I am doing after graduation, I mean I have a strong idea but it is still a temporary idea. I am very excited and anxious to have the months fly by to February when I am done with student teaching, done with dance team season, and am able to move to the Twin Cities area in Minnesota to start new adventures. This move will definitely be a huge step of blind faith as I don't really know how God is going to use it, how He is going to change my life from it, and who God will bring into my life through it. As I have been easily wishing away time, I realized that even my current plans are still part of waiting for a bigger picture to unravel. I have been reading a lot of scripture on waiting and being patient and fully trusting God's plan. I have been learning a lot about rejoicing in the wait and to continue to use the precious time that God has blessed me with to continue the race of glorifying Him wholeheartedly. As I desire to focus on who Christ is and what God wants to do through the story that He has given me and the ultimate love story that I am so blessed to share, my heart is actually being changed to embrace the waiting period. Embrace patience, embrace simple love, embrace intentionality of where I am right now, at this stage in my life, in this community, and on this specific spot on a journey.
God has blessed me so much in just the last two weeks. Our programming at our site was canceled last week and this week due to a major power outage here in West Virginia. This week especially as we are back on site with power but still no participants, has been a huge blessing of rest. God totally has my best interest in his mind as He knows that coming back from this summer and going right into student teaching would be heading right into exhaustion from exhaustion. I praise Him that our team gets to have this week to rest, restructure a few things, and get to know our new site director in intentional ways and that I will not be heading back to WI in complete exhaustion and then jump right into student teaching. God has been teaching me a lot and I honestly don't even know how to put it all into words except for that my heart wants nothing more than Jesus and God's perfect plan, even if it comes with waiting. Waiting is worth it and I am learning to let go of my plan and control to embrace the "I don't knows."
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