Comfort

When I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. 
-Psalm 23:4

As I sat in church this morning, I thought about where God has taken me the past few months. There have been great times of celebration and hope, but also times of hardship and confusion. I couldn't help to be thankful for the continued protection that God has given me for my heart and the comfort He has poured into the hard situations. However, I realized a pattern that I have chosen to be stuck in. I haven't allowed God to comfort me even when He was constantly trying to shower me with grace, mercy, and showing me that His plan is better. I fall into self-sufficiency a lot and it is not hard for me to rely on myself. I rely on myself for success, good relationships, financial stability, sanity, and happiness. I tend to take things into my own hands to mend anything that is not going the way I want it to and choose to walk through sad and disappointing times on my own strength thinking that I can comfort myself and in the end, become stronger because of me.  Thinking of comfort in terms of contentment, I have mostly chose to stay where I am comfortable the past few months. I haven't necessarily taken any big leaps of faith, trusted God for big things, or truly put deeper faith into God controlling my life. What good has this done me? Nothing. It hasn't strengthened my relationship with the Lord but instead, created distance. It has not strengthened any relationships with my friends who continually try to point me to the Lord but instead, more distance. It also has not helped with stress as I try to juggle being at school all day trying to finish my college degree, coaching a junior high dance team, judging competitions on the weekends, working a restaurant job, serving in youth ministries, keeping friendships, building new relationships, growing in my personal relationship with the Lord, working on fitness and a healthier lifestyle, and having enough time to myself to stay sane. I still continue to rely on my own comfort and sometimes I don't even know how to let go.

I was quickly reminded this morning during my pastor's message about how our lives really look in the big picture of life. He gave the analogy that if our lives were a book that had 25 chapters, what chapter would we currently be in? Every single one of us would be in the first paragraph of the first chapter, whether we know Jesus or not. Every single one of us will either have eternal life or death. The first paragraph of our life book could read one of two ways. First, our opening paragraph could read, "This story is about __________ who lived in the ____century, when time was recorded. They spent many of their days walking through joys and hardships as God continually called to them to follow a life He had already set before them. A life of grace, mercy, hope, redemption, love, peace, and joy. As God continued to fight for their heart, they eventually surrendered the to call of following God for an eternal experience of life. For eternity after making the choice to trust in Jesus for freedom from sin, he or she will forever live in light." Our other option for the opening paragraph of our personal book on life could read, ""This story is about __________ who lived in the ____century, when time was recorded. They spent many of their days walking through joys and hardships as God continually called to them to follow a life He had already set before them. A life of grace, mercy, hope, redemption, love, peace, and joy. As God continued to fight for their heart, they chose to continually say no to God's plan and yes to their own. They continued to choose to live in death, never accepting the freedom and redemption of sin from their life and took the punishment of death for themselves. For eternity, they will forever live in darkness."

Each time I choose to live in my own comfort and rely on myself for comfort, I am choosing to say no to God. I am choosing to go down a path of living in darkness. I am choosing to not truly, deeply surrender to the light in the end. In the big picture of what God has for me, I am choosing to focus on one paragraph of the story that could affect the life I experience the whole rest of the book. I don't want to choose darkness and I don't want to be stuck in the contentment of being comfortable. I want to fight for love, God's love in my own life and in others.

It is so easy to find comfort in what is immediately around me instead of the comfort that God wants for me. Is it really worth it for me to make a choice of what I want for right now, a single letter of a single word in one sentence in the very first paragraph, and have it affect the other 24 chapters of my life? It would be ridiculous to say yes, but it is so easy to do so.

God has promised me over and over again, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 
-2 Corinthians 5:17 

God continues to choose me. He continues to fight for me. He PROMISES us a better life of light for the rest of our lives, even when we don't experience the light right now. 

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, the old order of things has passed away." 
-Revelation 21:4

Who will you choose for comfort and strength?

Now may your Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say. -2 Thessalonians 2:16-17


As I think about how good God has been to me, I want to thank every person who has taken a chance on me to point me back to God no matter where I was in life. Everytime I chose to follow my wants, my plans, and not listen to what was best for me, I am so thankful that I had people who still showed grace, mercy, and love towards me despite my flaws and mistakes. Thank you for loving me and continually giving me second chances.