Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. -Psalm 95:6-7
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him. -Lamentations 3:25
The start to this summer adventure in West Virginia has been crazy. I haven't blogged about a lot of it because I simply have not had time or felt like I didn't necessary have the words to write, either. I am not completely sure I have all the words now either but after today, I felt I needed to blog about what God has been doing in my heart and how He has been using my experiences here to teach me so many things.
Worship. God has been using my prep weeks here before our program actually starts to remind me, again, that all glory should go to Him. Every trial that has come about is meant to be an opportunity to worship Him for His faithfulness and perfect plan. So often I lose sight of that, especially being a perfectionist with a detailed-plan mindset. I have been reminded this week especially when heavy planning and logistics needed to happen that I fall into worshiping a task and accomplishment rather than worshiping the One who gave me the task and opportunity to succeed in the first place. Today, I was certainly slowed down and reminded that I am not in control. Through a mental breakdown that consisted of out-of-nowhere streaming tears, I felt so stressed out and had no idea what to even do with myself. It didn't help that I had only gotten 2 1/2 hours of sleep the night before, but it was a quick reminder that my plan is not always God's plan. I seem to need this reminder a lot, dangit. This whole summer is a new kind of ministry for me than what I am used to but I am learning that although I didn't really want to be here when I first arrived a few weeks ago, God wanted me here because I am learning how to more deeply humble myself, especially when it comes to my plans and dreams. It has been a hard but greatly refreshing few weeks after a very dry and challenging semester. My heart was just not feeling connected to the Lord as deeply as I wanted. I was seeking God's hand for comfort and His voice for wisdom. What I wasn't doing, though was seeking His face. Psalm 27:8 reads: You have said, "Seek my face." My heart says to you, "Your face, LORD, do I seek." This was David's cry out to God, to seek God's presence. I have been learning a lot about just simply seeking the presence of God in my life instead of what God's plan may be for me or comfort. Seeking God's presence is teaching me to walk in faith that may come with blinded steps, but I am so excited for what God is stirring up in my life. With literally not being able to get every detail done that needs to without the blessing of God's help and His gifts of ability to do so, worshiping Him has been so great.
Waiting. Growing in patience, knowing that God has things in His control, and trusting that the dreams and desires God has given me will be blessed on His watch and not mine, have been huge themes for my last couple weeks as well. The Lord has been continuing to grow my dreams and passions and at this point, I am in the waiting game. I have always been a more impatient person but I have not felt any rush for God to reveal to me His plans for my dreams and passions and I am excited that I can just enjoy the ride God has me on. I have been able to spend a lot of time just rejoicing in how much God has truly blessed me in ways that I do not deserve. I am so thankful for the journey God has me on this summer and for the rest of my life really. Our program here for YouthWorks starts Sunday afternoon and we will be getting our first group of students traveling here to hear how God also speaks into their lives. I truly want to bring glory to Him for the lives that will be changed. God has been teaching me a lot and even through a stressful and hectic schedule, I feel His calming presence. I am so blessed. His love for us truly never fails.
